Grace

I’ll start out this piece by noting that all experiences are transitory. I will also say that due to the fact that everything is in constant motion, any assessment or meaning that I assign to a particular experience comes to me in one instant that will never be repeated again in precisely the same way. So this description, like everything else that I have to say, may be temporarily useful but it will eventually transit out of existence regardless of how much energy I apply in order to keep it congealed for a time.

In my current thinking, as I have stated before, Becoming is incessantly creative, and all of the energies created by that intent down through the eons are still experienceable; though those that are most upstream are mostly imperceptible in the maelstrom of the more localized frequency ranges in which we typically play. At every level along that pathway, the manifestations of Becoming’s creative nature are displays of beauty, and therefore intended to be appreciated. At my current location I have access to the experience of beauty on all of the levels at which I have current conscious awareness, and that obviously includes those expressions which are perceptible to the senses of this physical body. I can hear a beautiful song, feel a warm spring breeze, see the majesty of the Milky Way and taste the glorious flavor of Ben and Jerry’s “Chocolate Therapy”. Each has its own impact on me, depending on how focused I am, and how much I choose to immerse “myself” into the experience of appreciation. That immersion momentarily extracts “me” – my current point of attention – from the creative downstream flow of Becoming, “I” drift upstream a bit and contemplate the beauty of what is observed, and appreciate it (and/or assess it for modification in line with further perfection).

Now I’ll flip the perspective to being on the receiving end of appreciation instead of doing the appreciating. When my children were little there was often an invitation, sometimes verbal, of “look what I can do!” or “look at me!” They seemed to drink deeply of any praise given. They clearly yearned for it. It is, as I see it, a microcosm of the inherent cycle of creating and appreciating, on which my writing rests. The child does or makes something about which they are excited, and then shares it in order to have that creation appreciated. They soak up appreciation and are pleased with themselves, I would say, for making a contribution and being recognized for doing so. This process exists in an inconceivable number of ways, and on an inconceivable number of levels of awareness; the grander the creation – that is, the larger it appears relative to my current perspective – the grander the potential for appreciation. And given the stream of consciousness from the dawn of time until this moment, focused points of awareness at every level and perspective are appreciating what “they/it” observe and are always being appreciated from “above” – upstream – at the same time.

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What is True?

I’m going to point to two facets of truth, and am not saying there aren’t more. Becoming’s truth is a full throated intent, created by pure Will, which imagines what might exist next and that truth comes into being upon the manifestation of that intent.

The second is related to the first in that it is a discovery of an existing (could be described as earlier) intent of Becoming from a downstream perspective looking back upstream to its source. As I’ve stated before, the shorter wavelengths exist within, or are riders on, longer wavelengths. The longer wavelengths are reflective of broader collective intent (the Earth’s orbit around the Sun rides along inside of the rotation of our galaxy). Thus the long wavelengths appear downstream as more stable – reside in relative stillness – so the articulations of the experience of those wavelengths feel more true.

What I’m suggesting is that what we experience as true is based on the relative wavelengths we are opened into by someone’s expression or what wavelength we tap into that speaks its expression to us.

Truth is truth, but always momentary. However, truths at the longest wavelengths are seen downstream as really true because they are true for a longer period of relative time. They will appear stable due to their depth but will be discarded as one, hopefully, transits on to the next ranges of relatively longer wavelengths. In this model the longest wavelength might be the motion of the expanding universe, whose expression would be most true.

Surrender and Polarity

The word surrender is bandied about in spiritual circles as the necessary active ingredient to the growth of one’s consciousness awareness. Though I will not dispute the accuracy of what is pointed to, I do have my own take on it.

I have long had a resistance to the use of the word “surrender” when it comes to spiritual work. The inference is that there is something that one is surrendering to. If you believe in a form of a second person God – and I am well aware of Wilber’s articulation of first, second and third person pronouns and their ramifications– then that makes sense. I am not arguing against the existence of aspects of “other” – some collection of a We – that are experienceable on levels at which our depths cohabitate with “them”. I am also not disputing that the deeper one reaches into those depths, one might understandably experience the many – in some collective I/We – and view one collective of that relative singularity as divine. I do, in fact, believe that communing with all aspects of our depths is a necessary component of the growth cycle. What I am saying is that there is an experiential difference between surrendering in the form of “you know better than I so lead me” and “This moment’s focused “I” is releasing its grip on the present view to experience the more subtle – the next moment’s We”.

The first example relinquishes choice to someone or some otherness, inferring that the “I” that chooses is not responsible for its choices, which to me is never the case. This momentary I may receive intuition or insight but must then always choose to accept, alter or decline that insight based on the current relevant circumstances in which it finds itself. The current I is always the master of its choices.

I perceive the second example as recognition that some aspect of this self is stuck on one of its created “I” positions, and is “letting go” – my preferred term – in order to release its current gravitational constraints and drift upstream, where a deeper aspect of “I” peers out from its relatively longer range of waveforms. The “I” in those ranges will more clearly observe the long-range alignment or misalignment of the choices occurring in the frequency neighborhoods that “my” downstream point of focused attention is dwelling on. Surrendering my current declarations and certainties will, in essence, discharge agency of its creative intent for a while and allow attention to drift towards the natural gravity of Being.

shutterstock_414846625Up and down the entire spectrum of consciousness, the experience of the many (We) and the singularity (I) will always be accessible. There is a natural flow between the two. They are, metaphorically, two sides of the same coin. It is only a matter of focus. There is, in my view, an ongoing flip-flop between collections of my variable “I/We” and the associated perspectives.

I find it amusing, sometimes, that each perspective that I flow through, at any give moment, tends to resist every other at some level. In a manner of speaking, in order to be a perspective, the boundary that identifies its distinctness must exclude otherness in order to have form. That, I think, is the source of my sometimes knee-jerk resistance to many sorts of exclusionary declarations, even though I am aware that it is built into very nature of the I/We polarity. Energetically, the very existence of the I/We interplay depends upon the natural resistance that polarities exhibit. Without that multidimensional interplay, we’d have no playground. We’d be a singularity back at the beginning planning to generate another. Some version of will “I” want to go out and play again.

 

Looking Good

Looking good is a trait that seems often maligned but, in my view, it is simply a reflection of one of the fundamental aspects of Being. I think that all of the most basic traits of consciousness flow though every level of awareness, and are manifested in accordance with the frequency ranges that a particular portion of consciousness inhabits. Those traits flow out from the Source and exit through every portal based on that portals resonance. It is a bit like a coin counting machine. There is a source through which everything flows, and each exit point allows an easy outlet based on its natural aperture.

In this case, looking good is a reflection of the gravitational pull of Unity. Assuming the validity of the common assertion that in the beginning there was just the one consciousness, we have a common source and are differentiated and dispersed aspects of that One. Therefore, the underpinning of all frequencies is this longest of wavelengths, which, if experienced directly at all, we might experience as peace, ease or where we are most assuredly at home. It does not seem possible to extract ourselves from that sense. With that as an assumption, it is logical to conclude that from that same space of unity, there is derived the direct knowing that it is our natural home, where there is no question about acceptance or belonging. Our presence there is just what’s true, far beyond doubt.

The deep knowing of our common home is reflected by the very subtle assumption that we are “included” in the Unity, no matter what is reflected in our localized consciousness. Anything in the local environment that causes some ripples of disturbance in the flow from that deep place of oneness are experienced as energetic dissonance to varying degrees, depending on one’s sensitivity. Most don’t attribute it to energetic dissonance but rather to something that happened within our normal experiential environment, like hearing “you’re dreaming”, “what were you thinking?” or “we gave the position to someone else”. It’s all a matter of degree and there are certainly an infinite number of experiences each of which alters the flow of that “I belong” energy. Thus it seems to me that measuring our experience of belonging in our current environment is always going on, consciously or unconsciously. Some form of “Am I known here?”; “Am I seen here?”; Am I re-cognized with the whole here?” is ongoing on some level, perhaps many.

happy smiling children playing with paint

So I think that looking good is quite natural, and also unavoidable. It is quite likely true that there will never be enough evidence, at our levels, to assure us of belonging so I do see the futility of localized actions solely performed to provide that evidence. As we each become more attuned to our deeper connections, that urge to connect does not disappear, but moves up the scale to a different resonant range. There it is less discernible to us, thus we are blind to the new manifestations of that very same trait as it operates upon us in territory with which we are yet unfamiliar.

In sum, we belong, we want that re-cognized by others and this is a particular line of development that likely has its own stages and will not end until we are at home in the Unity. We’ll be blessed, as some would say, if we could bring that Unity experience here and share it.

The Archives of Becoming

Becoming’s gusto to beautify, to make more perfect, appears relentless and Being’s appetite for appreciating the beautiful also seems inexhaustible. Both of those energies are still very much “us” and every nuanced layer “down” through time can be felt if one can but “remember” them in their energetic splendor. Here I’ll focus on what I see as a trait of Becoming’s energy.

Blue glowing futuristic jump gate in space, computer generated abstract background

As the intent of Becoming’s evolutionary flow spreads out, metaphorically, to where our consciousness resides now, that evolution has created an energetic trail, which is still our source. The intentions (choices) which initiated those varied flows are carried along downstream and reside in tenuous flavors of preference that lie below our conscious thinking. Those deeper directives have been diluted by our more focused localized beautification decisions, which operate at faster frequencies and thus mask the gentle undulations beneath. To be able to sense them we most often use some kind of “letting go” or “bringing forth” practice, which can melt away the most superficial frequencies. What is revealed is where some aspect of “us” – a less differentiated We – used to look out from. We are familiar with every space along our route, since we created them on the way here by “our” own beautification choices.

It seems to me that, by the very fact that they were the opening through which we created this place, those intentions are of a broader vision of the beautiful. They are less focused on the relative minutia that we as individuals are intent upon now. The urgent yearning of survival, for instance, is much deeper than what clothes are most suitable for the event you are attending. Both are a form of a beautification – a “what will make the next moment more perfect” choice – but are of differing depths. If you are in a real, or imagined, life and death situation, all minor preferences/choices disappear. Yet all of these, in some way, must reflect the life force infused in us through the planet, the star and their energetic ancestors.

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Delight, Dissatisfaction and Meditation

The purpose of meditation and similar mind quieting practices is, at least in part, to extricate oneself from the relentlessness of the mind’s thinking. There is true value in that but it does not mean one should view thinking as a negative thing. What is almost never appreciated, is that thinking is also an integral part of Becoming’s beautification process. That being the case, I don’t “think” that we should disparage thinking (the mind), as many seem to do. If, as I’ve proposed, Becoming’s choices down through the eons have localized a focal point in this place (me), then along that pathway I, and we, have chosen the tools necessary to complete both our personal desires of perfection, and our less conscious or unconscious broader communal commitments as well. Thinking is clearly used in the way humans both assess what our current status is and the direction that we intend to go next. It is the tool by which we assess, inquire and then take action on what was perfect a moment ago but, after appreciation, leaves us looking for the next best thing.

Now we should always stop and first delight in (appreciate) what we did create, as that is why we’re creating. We have every right, and it is our nature to delight in all that has been created, whether by us, other humans, the planet or the broader universal intent of Being. Thus pleasure seeking is also fundamental to our individual experience of Being’s delight. This tends to be disparaged in some circles, and was the case in my ashram days. A renunciate gave up all desires of the flesh and that path was to be admired by the rest of us. This process was intended to aide in letting go of all participation in this “illusion” we found ourselves in, and that work was seen as a serious business.

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The Impact of Cynicism

I think that it would be logical for one to assume that Being, in its original intent to create, did not do so with timidity and must have known, with some certainty, that its choice to create would bear fruit. Given that we are offspring of that choice, on some very deep level we, like Being, expect that all of our choices will bear the fruit of our intent. If that initial intent – manifested in the energy of Becoming – is our source, how then could we not reflect it? Yet the physical world in which we live requires a certain kind of effort in order to have an impact on it. It is said, as described by “gross, subtle, causal”, that it is more “dense” that other layers. Whatever the difference may be, it is clear that once we arrive here we have to familiarize ourselves with the nuances of how energy works in this particular place. In addition, we are competing in this world with others who are just as connected to Being, and who are also intentional about the outcomes of their choices.

Here I will again point to Steve McIntosh’s quote that I used earlier in “Choice and Appreciation”:

“What does a universe of existential perfection do for an encore? It transcends itself through the development of creatures who can experience becoming perfect in time. That is, to achieve evolutionary perfection freely by choice, by effort, and even occasionally struggle, is to create an aspect of reality that did not exist in the state of existential perfection that we recognize as prevailing in the universe prior to the Big Bang.”

 Our experience of “becoming perfect in time” evolves out of our choices of what we see as perfect in the place where we happen to find ourselves. So in each moment, we are making a choice with the intent that it will lead towards something more perfect than what exists in our experience right now. That choice may be anything from what to have for dinner, to buying a house or ending a war. Each involves a choice or series of choices. Often what we choose does not come to fruition. A pitcher and a batter have exactly the opposite intentions. A store may be out of just that item that you specifically went there to buy. What you intended to eat for lunch may have been consumed by someone else in the house. There are innumerable choices and outcomes every single day. How we react to these unfulfilled intentions varies depending on our mood, the amount of energy we’ve exerted toward its completion, and likely a whole host of less perceptible impulses, derived from other underlying preferences. But in each and every instance, the frequency of that intent is interrupted so that there is some experience of energetic dissonance as that frequency is disrupted in some fashion.

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Preferences

shutterstock_392055367Here I’ll describe some observations on preferences. Preferences often dictate our choices, and the power of choice is a primary thread for the perspective that I’m attempting to convey.

There are a number of ways that I experience the flow of frequencies in which thoughts are not involved. Since I’ve already relayed that I consider these, and not thoughts, as real (relatively), these traits or tendencies seem important to note.

  1. Pure unadulterated flow, moving every which way of its own accord, seemingly unimpeded by my conscious attention.
  2. This is experientially the same as #1 but added to it is an experience of pleasure.
  3. This is experientially the same as #2 but a form of choosing appears. Some aspect of “I” is periodically, but automatically, seeking pleasure by choosing to merge with a particular frequency. It also avoids relative dissonance by diverting attention from a frequency, closing off that pathway.
  4. Again, this is experientially the same as #2 but “I” am deliberately choosing the direction of flowing/merging. Though there are still no words here, it is clear that some aspect of my awareness is actively selecting which direction to flow into or close off.
  5. Flow stops for a moment, “I” skips over what seems like a tight bundle of intensity, and I arrive at the absolute stillness of the witness state. Though there is no energetic flow of any kind, frequencies and preferences are visible, somehow, out “in the distance”, by the witness. I will also note here that there are times when I am on the threshold of this witness state, which is quiet and observant but not completely “still”.

It is numbers 3 & 4 that are of particular interest to me at this moment. They are essentially the same except that one is automatic and the other is somehow chosen deliberately. What I’d like to point out is that there are a multitude of preferences and that we are not conscious of most of them. It seems possible that these preferences are the result of earlier upstream choices (similar to cultural conditioning) though I cannot be certain. But what I can say is that I’ve witnessed them, and that both aspects seem to exhibit tendencies of curiosity and pleasure seeking (appreciation).

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Some Thoughts on Love, Sadness and We-space

“Falling in love” does, in fact, have a sense of motion associated with it, which is why this term exists. It’s like our depths are naturally in resonance with the depths of another and our normal experiential range feels that deep gravitational pull. Since our own depths underpin all of our daily conscious experiences, all of those experiences feel that deep resonance. The motion we rightfully call “falling” seems to bubble up through every experience we have and the normal solidity of our sense of self becomes more transparent and we “fall” through its dissolving support into the newly revealed depths.

binary-star-spiralI felt that instantly when I first met my wife. I just knew that we were related. We “fell” for many years and at some point long ago, energetically reached an equilibrium. As I see it, our depths are no longer experientially deep. Rather they are very present for us in our every day lives – as we are in orbit around each other like binary stars. That feel of falling is no longer experienced since we are in proximity and there is no longer a distance over which to travel, or “fall”. We are in communion and that communion provides the solidity of being close; we are a “We”.

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Inclusion and Exclusion

Given our premise that there is one Being, of whom we are all expressions, it is logical to assume that somewhere in our depths we are conscious of this fact. There must certainly be an infinite number of levels of communal resonance developed down through the eons to where our particular attention is focused right now. I think, therefore, that in our interactions with other people we are at least subtly aware of being included in those deeper communal spaces, or excluded from them, implicitly or explicitly. Our sensitivity to that inclusion or exclusion will likely be experienced energetically as undifferentiated resonance or dissonance. At deeper levels, its impact would be much more subtle, and at some depth disappear into ranges where the wavelengths are too broad for most to perceive given where our attention is currently focused. Yet they are still there.

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